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Isabelle Lang -
Born Early on 13th March 2000
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A Fathers Story ....
Who says that the men have it easy when it comes to childbirth? Well, I guess in the greater scheme of things they do in many areas (such as pain, discomfort, etc, to mention jus two!), but emotionally, maybe not .....
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Our Baby is Born
Our daughter, Isabelle, was due on May 2nd 2000, she decided she had had enough on March 13th and was delivered 8 weeks early. Rachel, my wife, had gone to bed on the Saturday evening complaining of what we thought was indigestion and woke up with contractions. We rushed into hospital and she was put on monitors to track the baby's heart and was immediately given a steroid injection to boost the growth of the baby's lungs, just in case.
In order to stop the contractions, Rachel was given a drug via a drip. However, this had the effect of raising her blood pressure, and made her heart race which had the knock on effect on Isabelle's heart, which was also beating far too quickly. It became a balancing act of trying to stop the contractions and keep Isabelle's heart from beating too fast. Isabelle then became distresed as her heart rate began to fluctuate and not recover quickly enough.
As a husband and potential father, at this stage I wasn't sure how to feel as the most important people to me were not doing very well at all.
At about midday on the Monday, the saff at Stoke Mandeville said that Isabelle was "better out than in" as she was not recovering quickly enough after the fluctuations, so Rachel was whisked off to theatre whilst I 'scrubbed up'.
From this point onwards I felt numb and had mixed feelings of fear, hope, helplessness and being in the way. I was able to stay with Rachel during the operation, which meant that I felt very much part of the proceedings.
Two moments now stick in my mind:
Firstly, the point when Isabelle was born, but we couldn't see her and there was what appeared to be a massive number of people around her but no sound. She was then whisked off.
Secondly, Rachel was taken from theatre. I couldn't go with her and was taken to SCBU. I was shown into a room, on my own, to wait for the doctor. Not knowing whether she had survived or what complications there might be was undoubtedly, so far, the most difficult time of my life. A whole wave of emotions I never thought possible happened all at once and I certainly didn't take in all the doctor was saying. Upon seeing Isabelle for the first time, I realised that my life had changed completely, and was happy that it had.
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The SCBU Experience
The next couple of days were very difficult. Rachel, being on a ward of mums with babies and being the only one without was awful. For me, not being sure whether I should be with Rachel or with Isabelle and feeling scared that when I was with one the other was suffering. On top of that leaving the both at hospital at night was very difficult.
Looking back, the speed with which things progressed from there was rapid. Isabelle came off the ventilator about 36 hours after her birth and stayed in SCBU for about 5 weeks.
The first time I changed a nappy whilst Isabelle was in the incubator was hilarious. It was bad enough being the first time but trying to do it through two portholes in an incubator was beyond me!
Isabelle is now doing well. Development wise she is behind but as expected. So how do I feel now? It was a nightmare at the time but the way I see it now is that we may have had two months less pregnancy but we've had an extra two months of Isabelle.
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