The Many Deaths Of Mel

The Doctor Alt 8 is proud to anncounce the opening of our annual Kill Melenie Bush contest... here is our first entiry from The evil Overlord, Antipidian Jan.... Further entries can be made is the usual E.Mail adddress....

1. take her to an all you can eat meat lovers night at the local

Pizza Hut... leaver her tied to a chair in the kitchen.... do not

2. tie her to a bed and make her watch endless re runs of Animals...

enough to kill anyone after the first viewing... I call this... SLOTH

3. Lock her in the warehouse with all the old European currency coins

and make her count them and place them into nice high piles... once

she has finished accidentally push the piles of coins on top of her.

4. place her in front of a mirror that shows the worst possible side

of her and her innermost evil... she'll die of shame. I call this

5. Tie her to a chair and show endless re-runs of favourable

critiques of previous Doc assistants and bad reviews of herself.

She'll die of embarassment....eventually. That or lack of food. I

6. Tie her to a chair and parade in front of her, her ideal man (Avon

of course! Hee hee hee) making suggestive gestures at her but do not

let him get close enough for her to do anything about it. She'll die

7. Move in next door to her and become the world's worst neighbour so

that she'll want to kill you but just as she works up enough guts to

bump you off invite her round for drinks and really annoy her but

tell her that she has drunk poison! I call this... WRATH.

Transform her into head of extermination at the local abboitoire

making sure she cannot escape....she's sure to kark it after her

Everytime Mel eats vegies or does exercise she puts on weight,

however when she eats junk food she looses weight... what will she

Put Mel into the outfit that Doc # 4's assistant was in (I think her

name was Leila and she wore very little and was always looking to

kill someone with a knife) and tell her she has to save the day.....

Give Mel to me for eternal torture in my Evil Overlord Secret HQ.

That, and Oggy's visits should be enough for her to die of shame! Hee