|
|
|||||||||
 |
|
||||||||
|
THE DOCTOR ALT 8th PROBLEM PAGE
|
|||||||||
 |
|||||||||
|
Dear Doctor
I am in such terrible cosmic turmoil and I need your
advice.
Being a 'Space Chick' I'm obviously attracted to
intergalactic types. The trouble is that the young man
I adore sides with those on the U.S.S Enterprise,
whereas I'm a sworn Blakes 7 freedom fighter ally.
Our families say it's impossible for us to be together
as our goals and ideologies are so different. It's
true - whereas I am a freedom fighter against a
fascist Federation - his type just roam around the
solar systems proving that the American way is best
with a good-looking captain and a Vulcan with pointy
ears, snogging lots of space princesses etc.
He's due back from reporting on the last Intergalactic
war in 3 weeks time. Please help Doctor. I've been
friends with him for 8 years but I fear we have no
romantic future because of our differences. How can we
ever compromise?! I think our relationship is as
doomed as Avons dieting plans in series 4.
Yours
Miss E Restalez.
The 'Shadow' Bar and Grill
Space City
SS34
X 6887 Y739
Dear " Space Chick ",
Oh daer... It`s never easy loving someone who is so " cultrlly divergent " from yourself...
my first instinct is to tell you to forget him. It`s only a man and they trly are not worth the effort. But, kowing your species as well as I do I know for you, walking away isn`t an option.
" Slowly, slowly catchee monkey " is your watch-words now... invest in a Trek uniform ( yes, I know it`s hard, but if your tht determined, it`s a sacrifie you should be prepaired to make... ) and invite him for a discrete tete-atete... Then when he arrives, strap him down in a chair and show him just how nasty " his " federation can behave, ( but remember, kepthat uniform ON be crule, be creative, be... even tempered ! ) Remember " their " Federation will be doig it for his own good. " This will hurt me a lot more than it will hurt you.. " Attempt brainwashing, all the while making it clear that it iks as an officer of his Federation your acting as...
Slowly, he should grow to realize that there is`nt much difference between them- except that yours dosn`t make much efort in hiding it`s true intentions and then he`ll be won over to your point of view.. ( or at leest he`ll be to scared to decent from yours, ) Which ultimatly is much the same tthing......
Good luck now, Yours... The Doctor.
Dear Abby, I mean Doctor.
I'm having trouble with an obsession I have. I'm
attracted to a man who has a tendancy to want to blow
up his neighbouring planet. Try as I might I can't get
him out of my mind. His bleached blond hair and
eyebrows, the boots, those ruffled shirts, the TIGHT
pants, the way they mould to his every curve and
accentuate his......
Um, sorry, where was I?
Before him, I was attracted to a Billy Idol wannabe
vampire with a tendancy to kill and consume his
victims, and before that another vampire, who if he
had one moment of true happiness would turn into a
homicidal maniac.
Why oh why am I so drawn to this kind of man?
Is there something wrong with me?
Signed
Prince fan.
Dear Prince Fan,
Shortly- to answer your qestion. YES.
But somehow I suspect you were expecting so much more....
I think you should re-examine your childhood / puberty and try to analyse what it is about bleach blonds that attracts you so...
Meanwhile, try conter-acting these romantic feelings by imagining how hard it would be to live in the same house as such an obvoiusly vain and self-centered creature. ( For one thing, you`ll never get near the bathroom mirror again. ) provided that is, that he dosen`t destroy your neighbours house in a fit of pique because their lawn is much nicer than yours, their washing cleaner and the kids smarter and more polite...
Let me know how you get on, as this is something we`re both going to have to work on...
Yours, The Doctor.
|
|||||||||
|
|
|||||||||
|
|
|||||||||
|
|
|||||||||
| page created with Easy Designer |