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THE DOCTOR ALT 8th PROBLEM PAGE (PAGE 2)
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Confused
Dear Doc
I took your test to see whether I would make a decent assistant for
you and guess what, I am, so where do I send my CV? However there is
one little thing... I also took the test to see whether I would make
a good evil master and now I am resisting jumping into the back of a
divvy van as we speak. Please help me.
Regards
Confused Down Under
Dear " Confussed Down Under, "
Thankyou fo your letter...Don`t be too concerned by your aparent dichotamy- Some of m most useful cmpanions have stared ot trying to kill me. ( But usually my natural charissma and savor-fare charms them out of this aberent behaviour... )
Actually, yo`d be surpried how many criminal masterminds grow out of wanting to rule their planet/ sol. system / quadrant / galaxy. Ruling these isn`t half the fun they appear to be and if you are fortunate enough to suceed, you will face feice competition to keep your position and be bogged down with the red tape of beeruocracy... so it truly ISN`T worth it... ( unless you enjoy the prospect of contracting a facinatinng range of stress related decieses )
Therefore, take a few deep breatths and repeat this mantra... " I`m not bad, I`m not mad and I`m not inrsted iin ruliing anything... " and submit your C.V. and Co-Ordintes to my E.Mail address...
Life
Dear Doc
I spend all my time on fan forums to the exclusion of all else in my
life. I don't eat, don't sleep, I don't see anyone any more, I just
have to keep on posting. I just have to make my posts and my threads
the longest on every forum. What am I to do?
Signed
Top of the Posts
Dear " Top Of The Posts ",
I`m sorry, but I fail to see your problem,
Logic
Dear Doc
I apply the rules of logic to all the arguments I enter however
everyone else replies without logic at all. How can I have a decent
debate with all these illogical thoughts flying around? And why can't
they all see my point of view?
Signed
Logic Master
Dear Logic Master,
Oh Dear... You realy don`t feel that your " eurdite " and well thought out replies are ( Dotty, Stop That ! ) being given the respect and recognition they deserve.
There is a reson for this... no-one is interested in what you, with your inflated ego has to say, especially as you continue to rpear the same points over and over again. Give it a rest, you bore, or at least promise only to counter argue ONCE, instead ( leave my fingers alone ! ) of wearing over tthe same points ad-infinitum.... Otherwise you might find yourself getting more aand more isollated from the rest of us and we all know where that can lead o don`t we ?
Remember yyou are not alwayss right, that ohers hae valid views and f most people disagree with you then it`s likly you are very much in the wrong....
Now " put a sock in it " as you humans say and calm down !
Yours the Doctor
Obessed
Dear Doc
I have a problem. I am obsessed with a hairy beast that starred in a
TV show over 25 years ago. I am unable to have a normal relationship
as everyone I meet just does not compare. What am I to do?
Signed
Ogsessed
Dear Obsessed,
Well, the first step in curing any addiction is acknolaging you have a problem....
Perhaps it will help if you list the pro`s and Cons of ccontinung this " relationship "... Not forgetting the most important point of all, tht this creature doen`t actually exist anymore and would be virtually impossible to live with...
In the cold light off this examination, your facination should die..
You should also get rid of anything which is a direct or indirect reference to the object of yor affection. Stay clear of....
Shag Pile Rugs
Sheep,
Aberdeen Angus Cows,
And anything witth horns/ long fur......
I`m not saying that it will be an instant cure... we are talking about a " problem " that hs existed for 20 + years, but without the stimulas of familerarity something / body more suitable wiill catch yyour attention and you will have something new to dream about. What fun !
Good Luck, The Doctor
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