The Doctor Alt 8 Problem Page (Page 3)

Dear Doc

I have just taken the lead in the number of posts in our discussion

forum and I need to make sure I keep the lead this time, anyway you

can help me out there? Like bumping off my rivals?

Signed

Top of the Posts

Dear " Top Of The Posts ",

Firstly, are you truly able to afford the services of an assassin ? they are very expensive and most are quite untrustworthy, liable to blackmail you for even more money or reveal your complicity.... Better you keep your prized position by staying glued to your P.C. Trust me, it`s safer.... Another tactic is to start up more topics for discussion and to "re activate " older, abandoned threads...., Taking a controversial viewpoint, causing othrs to defend and then re-defend their position aginst your attacks is another good way.....

( Although you might be better off long term, examining just WHY you are so competitive, what is missing from your Life that being first matters so much...

Yours The Doctor

Dear Doc

I have been very sick lately and am having trouble satisfying my

public with the next installment of my Not the Movie scripts. What am

I to do?

Signed

Ill in Movies, Not

Dear " Ill In Movies ",

Your problem stems from time management .... or rather your lack of it.

I think you`d better re-check your priorties ! Say " Goodbye " to your social life, you have a public to satisfy !

( You could always make your writing bad enough for people to beg you to stop. )

Yours The Doctor.

Dear Doc

I am having problems at work. My boss does not understand my obession

with a certain sci-fi program from the late 70's early 80's and my

need to be on endless discussion forums. What can I do to keep him

off my back while I spend hours surfing?

Signed

Hasseled Surfer

Dear Hasseled Surfer

Have you ever thought it are buying your own form of internet access? If however this is not possible, you'll have to find a way of distracting your employer .. .. You have to a rope in some friends and relations to occupy your boss with complaints or offers of work, telephone calls coming from the police/hospitals/social services with information claiming disaster befalling members of his/her family will also help. (especially effective if he/she has to make a long fruitless journey to a remote part of the country in order to meet the demands of these calls)

Eventually he/she might work out that it is just not worth working in your office any more.

Yours the Doctor